Flames

The building we were all staying in was on fire; it was smoldering from the inside out, basement-up. I could only see the fire through small cracks in the foundation, and some people didn't even believe me that it was burning. I kept trying to dial 911 on my phone but the call never connected.

An Assortment

-I woke up with Madonna's "Sanctuary" playing incessantly in my head.

-I found Maggie, my brother's dog, who has been missing for about 36 hours. She seemed very scared as I carried her home.

-I was sitting in a small room waiting for Barack Obama to come t the podium and give a speech.

-I was watching Tori act in her first movie and she looked through the screen at me for a moment.

Mouthful of Metal

My most recent dream had a recurring theme for me- the inability to speak. At its worst my teeth are rotting painfully out of my mouth and i cannot form words at all. This time, my mouth was full of sharp metal braces with rubber bands zig-zagging all over the place. Variations on these types of dreams in the past have also included my having a mouth full of syringe needles, broken glass or sand. A lot of time these speech-impediment dreams are accompanied with partial blindness, like my eyes fade in and out of working properly. At least I have taken the illness and am trying to externalize it; I just have to find the ability to spit it out.

Illness

Inside the house we were safe, but the flood was steadily creeping higher outside. We'd already been stuck in the house for days- me, my sister, brother and father and Heath. I had been feeling very sick and spend most of my time laying on the sofa. The sickness was making me touchy. I was whiny because I didn't feel well, and weak because my immune system was on over-time. I was tired of being stuck in the house, just like we all were. I wanted to get out to see if the cats were okay, I wanted the medicine that what as at home. I remember my sister saying that our cousin could have brought the stuff over, but he was being lazy. I was so stressed out and upset during the whole dream. The fever and the burning in my throat and the disorientation all added up to just feeling terrible. At one point my father made some snarky comment and I blew up at him, yelling and crying and getting so worked up that I started shaking from head to toe, trembling out of sickness and weariness. When I couldn't stop shaking, Shan came over and put her arms around me, offering what comfort she could. That was when I woke up. I awoke with the knowledge that my repressed anger was what was making me sick, and that I should do something about it.

God save the child

dream #1: it's getting hot and heavy with someone i don't recognize. Suddenly, before the great act, he gets up and walks out the door, mumbling about sin in the lord's eyes or something. he leaves me alone (and rather unsatisfied). i'm offended at first, but then i become aware that there is someone else in the house and headed my way right now. so i wait.

dream #2: I emerge from what feels like months of cloudiness. My daughter is there. she is young, just old enough to start crawling. I carry her everywhere with me, talking to her, making faces, laughing at her smile and giant dark eyes. My mother's entire family is there, my aunts and uncles, my grandmother... i remember the way they looked at me with their gentle, knowing smiles, watching the way a i doted on her and fussed over her. Near the end of the dream I started becoming conscious and the worries started filtering into my dream- what if i can't afford it? where can i live now? what will happen? But when I look at my daughter, with her toffee-colored skin and black curly hair as she motors her way across the carpet and pulls herself triumphantly to her feet using a table for support, i am flooded with relief. anything is worth it, for her.